I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
