The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I deserve this hangover.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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