So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
do herpes really smell.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
