16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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