there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
