People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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