I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize