do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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