you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
