I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
