By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
