Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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