I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
