I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
