Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
