fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
