My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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