i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
