Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
