whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
