Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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