He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
