Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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