they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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