you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
