I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
