i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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