my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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