therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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