Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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