That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
These tits shall not be calmed
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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