Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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