He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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