Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
