I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
the gays at disneyland are vicious
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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