i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
