her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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