How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
