tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
