We're facebook friends in real life
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
