I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
