he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
