Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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