It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
