I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
