his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
