My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
