so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
