Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
