yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize