there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
