oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
