only if we run a train.
done.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
