false alarm. still invincible.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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