Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
