I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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