She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
